How useless it is to think about what you cannot change. For once it happens and consumes all the time and emotion to leave you with something to feel about. Feel. Can not help the feeling. As if the cells in your brain has thought about it so much it became part of your DNA and who you are, leaving your body to cure what it cannot identify physically, to heal a nameless disease. Like many diseases that cannot be fought, the right way to go around them, is to fight them till you beat them, but if you don’t, especially if you have no physical power over them, you then learn to accept them, to deal with them, to give them all the time and even love they need and eventually hope that you have made the necessary compromise and when you look back, and you will always look back, you will know deep in your heart that you have done the wise thing.