One of the worst things about being sheltered your whole life, is not being able to identify an attack from your superiors. It is one of the fundamentals that when someone is older, then they are wiser and they are looking out for your best interest. Especially if they are assigned to do it, trust comes automatically. Just like parents looking out for their children’s best interest. Obviously not true, I realized yesterday. Everyone is out there looking out for their own best interest, maybe if your best interest also is a path to their best interest they would consider it. Otherwise looking after yourself, questioning superiors and their motives, is something that will add more quality to your everyday choices in life.
My situation with my superior was not very dramatic, I have already had the signs and signals that screamed “take charge of your experience”, only I thought I was doing that when I wasn’t. Metaphorically speaking, it was like this: I was at the beach, it was a sunny bright day, and I was content with having nothing but the sun on my skin. Till the clouds accumulated, and even though it was starting to get cold and knowing for a fact that if a storm comes, I will not be able to find shelter here. So I prayed, that at the worst, it would only be a cold night… yet the worst case scenario was not the cold, it was the thunder storm, knowing I could not shelter myself, and against my better judgment, I held my ground and decided to stay under a tree till the storm passes away. Unfortunately, the storm was not merciful. By the morning I was sick and weary, and the sunshine did not heal any of my injuries or take the misery away from my mind and body. I’m not sure why I stayed at the beach through the night, instead of leaving it and taking better care of my well being. The beach does not owe me to stay with it, the beach was taking care of itself and by itself.
Wouldn’t loyal dogs run away from their own owners if they ever abused them?